"It's the chef's night off, so we're only doing snacks at the moment I'm afraid. We can do you a Lirsautton noodle soup, a Civire salad, a Mishi Mash or a Sebiestor Slab. Do any of those tickle your fancy?"

If you want to order food, choose from the above food options or say:

• "Can you arrange for me to have some 'company'?"
• "I want to make a complaint."

or:

• Hang up.